“Only when melody is the devil can Stone Temple Pilots be the savior” - Stephen Malkmus "‘Alt’ is dead" - Carles -------------------------- Greetings from the sun. We are sat by the pool in an undisclosed location, caking ourselves in makeup to comply to the beauty demands of a modern 21st century label. If the fans want youth, they will have it. There has been some pained muttering of “fixing it in post” and speculation over how much younger we can look before questions are asked. If “Mid twenties” is a stretch, elasticity is the vice of the aging rocker, and certain liberties must be taken to keep the corner-offices happy. Talk this morning of the wearing of sunglasses by certain “non-central” members. With big money at stake, and head office taking a keen interest, It has been decided to reshoot some “candid” shots. All are agreed the effort will be worth it when the campaign really gets rolling. Spontaneity is the hotel-television of the 21st century music industry, and Instagram the spotless motel pool. The combination is electric, and well worth any excess incurred. --------------------------- “​​There are many things that I would be proud of if I'd invented them, such as the wheel.” - Ricky Wilson ------------------------------ Some concern amongst more sober minds that this “content outing” might be a smoke screen for a holiday on the Universal tab. Assurances all round as to the severity of the mission. An internal directive hinting drinks orders will be “unwelcome” in the expenses process has prompted speculation amongst receipt-masseurs as to how many side-orders might constitute a meal. With two weeks until "impact" the mood on floor ten [finance] is of light despair. ------------------------------ Which perfume shilling pirate was spotted soaking up more than sun on the lava flats? ------------------------------ Long debates at rehearsal as to whether Kurt Cobain would have played to click given the opportunity. Consensus that he might have but would never have patched in a loop sample of a children’s choir. Some tension. Ear molds being fitted for an upcoming tour with arena sized band. The click question getting increasingly heated. Sampler ordered for upcoming “production rehearsal”. --------------------------------- Proximity to celebrity is a must for any serious “influencer/music personality” [see Alex @ NME Awards]. Wannnabe schmoozers might take a lesson from Ricky Wilson, who charmed Tom Jones on the set of the Voice with his penmanship: “I’ve yet to meet a man who won't laugh at a picture of cock and balls". < mate i’m with Francis Bourgeois in Yorkshire ✓✓ < making plans for a train music festival next year ✓✓ < he’s wondering if you would play a carriage ✓✓ ------------------------------ < hi Alex, my boyfriend Ollie has been a Sea Girls fan for as long as I can remember. He honestly adores your music. ✓✓ .-. . -. - . .-. - .- .. -. -- . -. - Letters for publication should be sent to spoughtsteem@gmail.com